Monthly newsletter

12 October 2024

Dear Neighbors,

My name is Gloria and I have volunteered to write a newsletter every few months or so—the hope being, to build neighborliness, cohesiveness and inclusivity in our little community. 

My plan is to feature one of our neighbors in each edition so we can get to know one another. I'll also impart whatever information I can where it concerns the happenings in our HOA. If the newsletter takes off, I'd like to build in a section where neighbors can email me questions and I'll provide the question and the answer (if possible) in the next newsletter.

I have asked a few neighbors if they'd like to go first in being highlighted (with no takers!) so I'll begin with myself to get the ball rolling.

Here's everything there is to know about me!

THIS MONTH'S FEATURED NEIGHBOR

I grew up in Bethpage. When I was 15, my parents moved us to Lake Havasu City, Arizona to open a fish store, because fish are very prolific in the desert! I hated it there and longed to be back on the east coast with my friends my entire life, but never thought it was possible to afford to live here again. 

I met my husband, Funk, in 1977 in West Virginia where I attended college (he was a professor, although he wasn't mine), and since the administration wouldn't allow a student and a professor to date, we moved to Nashville, Tennessee where we lived for 10 years. After our first child was born, I decided I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and Funk applied for jobs that would cover my lost salary. The first offer he received was in Kansas City, Missouri, to which I said there was no frigging way I was moving to that cowtown. In 1988, less than 30 days later, that's exactly where I was living. Never say never!

I was a full time mom in the daytime, and once Funk got home from city hall, I worked in the evenings as a childbirth educator and a midwife. 

In 2007, Funk decided to ruin our lives by running for mayor of Kansas City. 

Although I am apolitical, I became his (free) campaign manager by default and he won the election. Most campaign managers follow their candidate into office, and I did on a volunteer basis, again, no remuneration! 

Funk and I are complete opposites, but we've always made a good team. 

Since he's a do-gooder to the extreme, the top 1% in Kansas City made sure he didn't win re-election. The problem was, he'd been a beloved government official the previous 18 years, so, in order to get rid of him as mayor, the media came after me. This occured before the term “fake news” came into being. 

Long story short, the way the top 1% got rid of Funk was through the city council, most of whom are puppets for the elite. The council wrote a law banning me from city hall, and the law was overturned 18 months later for being unconstitutional. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough time to gain back our momentum. Funk lost reelection by 1126 votes. 

In his four years as mayor, he pulled the city back from a Detroit-like-bankruptcy, and acording to FBI records, he reduced crime by 33% —an astonishing thing, given Kansas City was ranked the 3rd most violent city in America.

I am a writer now.

I have written a memoir series. The second book, C'mon Funk, Move your Ass: How a Demure Little Wife Made her Husband a Big-City Mayor, tells the story of how Funk and I won his campaign for mayor. I am currently working on the third and final book in the series, which goes into the how's and the why's I was banned from city hall.

I am also an editorial writer for See Beyond Magazine & Talks, and I pen my own newsletter that I post on my Facebook page and my website: www.gloriasquitiro.com.

Funk and I moved back to the east coast in 2011 where he became the publisher of Governing Magazine in Washington, DC. 

His work took him to NYC frequently, so I tagged along to visit my friends, most of whom have never left Long Island. Living on the east coast wasn't as prohibitive as I feared. In 2013, we purchased a studio in Long Beach shortly after Hurricane Sandy (not to be confused with our own beloved Storm-Sandi, as Doug likes to call the love of his life!). 

Shortly after, my friends of 50+ years began migrating up to the North Shore. After looking for a home up here for more than two years, Funk and I finally found our little cottage at 24 Culross.

The thing I love most about our neighborhood is that I am surrounded in tall trees and yet the Sound is just across the street. Since I walk daily, I also love chatting with neighbors and hanging on the beach with everyone.

Funk and I both work from home. We talk for an hour each night at 7pm beneath our beautiful tree, which is under the owl house, in front of the chiminea. If you see smoke coming from our backyard, please feel free to stop by and say hello!

OTHER NEWS

1. We are in the process of revising the HOA's by-laws, which is long overdue. Funk is on the committee, and he says the revisions will hopefully be ready to be voted on by Culross residents by the end of the year.
2. It seems that less than half of our neighbors know that we have a website, built by fellow neighbor Jeremy Kaplan—thank you Jeremy! Please help our community grow by asking your neighbor to sign up for access to the website and the newsletter.
3. Please! Someone step up to be featured in the next Culross Newsletter. This missive will be quite boring otherwise!
4. A big thank you also goes to Greg, who had our ravine repaired in no time at all after last summer's major storm!

Wishing you a lovely night, Gloria

Reply to: [email protected]

THE PHOTO: Me, sitting in my tiny home, writing, as usual. If my mother were still alive, she would've killed me if she saw my “unladylike” posture!